Save the Bees?

You may have read my blog about why I think Spring should die. I’m an allergy sufferer. ’nuff said! And that picture, ugh! I think I'm having an allergic reaction just looking at it.

There’s all this “Save the Bees” stuff all over the internet. Just thinking about them makes my skin crawl. I am allergic to bees. I have been stung twice in my life. Both times, there I was in the Emergency Room. What a fun place to be! Especially when you’re fighting for you life, and for what? Each time I was stung, I didn’t even know the little yellow and black stinging creep was there! I did nothing to them. Nothing! The first time I was a teenager working as a cashier in a grocery store. Suddenly, I couldn’t see, think, breathe, move! Then my hands went straight to my throat and I felt this insane stinging pain and my airway started closing.

The next time, I was parking my car and I felt that insane stinging pain once again. I got out of my car and walked towards the door of the radio station and literally threw my purse at my boss, hitting him in the chest. Poor guy, he was just being nice opening the door for me. I said, “Benedryl! In my bag! Get it!” He did, I took it and then, yup you guessed it, another trip to the ER.

If I get one more "do you carry your EpiPen with you?" I’m gonna scream. Let me tell you a couple of things about that. Have you ever seen an EpiPen? They really expect me to jam that into my thigh? Have you seen the circumference of that needle? Here are my two choices if I get stung by a bee:

1. Stab myself with a huge, thick needle (hence the name EpiPEN)
2. Die

I guess I'm stabbing myself in the thigh. This is where I think, isn't it bad enough to get stung by one of these little badass bugs?  I could deal with a sting, but I get the throat closing, the swelling and spreading of redness all around the sting area, a trip to the hospital and now I have to deal with the EpiPen too?  What?  I don't even have a purse big enough to carry one. It literally comes in a guitar case.

My husband saw a side of me that he never saw before about two years ago when a bee entered our car. We were in line at a Dunkin Donuts drive-thru. I hear a buzzing sound and literally lost my mind! I mean, total, lunatic, screaming, flipping out, trying to find the door handle, spring-boarding out of the car. Oh yeah, that was a scene.

Dramatic? I don’t think so. I have a high tolerance for pain. I’ve been through childbirth twice. I just don’t like bees. OK, I am scared to freakin’ death of them. Ask the people behind us at that drive-thru. I’m sure they’re still telling stories about the crazy woman who freaked out and hurled herself out of the car.

Listen to Linda G weekdays from 3-7pm on 105.5 FM, online at kicks1055.com/listen-live/ or by downloading the radioPup app for your mobile device.