When you're a married man like myself, small gestures on days like Valentine's Day tend to go a long way. A small surprise like flowers sent to the office, dinner at a restaurant that has a significance to your relationship, or even a nice romantic meal at home, is often more than enough to keep the fireworks blazing, at least through the weekend. It's the thought that counts. Most of the time, that cliche rings true.

That certainly doesn't mean, however, that the larger, more extravagant gestures should never happen. Rose petals throughout the house leading to a candle-lit bath, a barbershop quartet at her workplace that will be just embarrassing enough to bring out the rosiness in her cheeks while making her "frenemy" coworkers wildly jealous. Every now and again, going above and beyond on a Hallmark holiday is VERY necessary — especially if you got yourself way too sauced up at the Super Bowl party a couple weeks ago (Sorry, babe).

All that said, and with whichever methods you use to display the burning passion you hold for your significant other, there are definitely a few places you can go that are just plain bad ideas. Here are those particularly bad ideas located right here in Greater Danbury:

  • 1

    Five Guys Burgers & Fries on Federal Rd. in Brookfield

    Now before you jump to conclusions deep fried in 100% peanut oil, I personally think Five Guys makes for a fantastic date night. The way the fluorescent lights reflect off of the foil the burgers are wrapped in really makes her gorgeous eyes sparkle. This particular joint that drips pure romance, however, is currently closed.

    There are reported plans to open a brand new Five Guys across the street, but it's not quite there yet, and driving to either the New Milford or Newtown location on an empty stomach is just opening yourselves up for an argument over what to listen to in the car ride. Before you know it, she's furious, and you're crying into your plastic ramekin full of ketchup.

  • 2

    The Spray Parks at Rogers, Kenosia, and Highland

    Listen, these splash pads are all the rage, and absolutely perfect to keep the kids cool, calm, and collected during the dog days of Summer, but it's February, bro. I know the forecast shows a high temp. of almost 50 degrees, but that's just not enough to go splashing around, trying to recreate the opening scene of Grease. 

    It may seem like a cute, fun way to butter your hunnie up, but in reality, it's a sure-fire way to end up spending V-Day in the emergency room on Hospital Avenue with hypothermia. I will say, though, that I've spent a significant amount of time in the hospital's Bistro Cafe. The food is delicious. So once you both thaw out, you wouldn't have to go too far for dinner.

    Google
  • 3

    The Hallmark Paper Store in Candlewood Plaza

    This place is like a Mecca for Valentine's Day gifts, especially if you're like me, and you wait until the last possible second to pick something out. I mean seriously, it's the best.

    I can't tell you how many V-Days, Anniversaries, and "I'm Sorry" Days have been a success because of the Paper Store. But that's precisely why you can NEVER take your significant other there. Your whole system will come crashing down. She'll see exactly where you picked up every single Willow Tree statue, quirky wine glass that defines her unique personality to a "T", and Hallmark card that reads like you're a modern day incarnation of E.E. Cummings.

    She'll be so upset at your complete and utter lack of originality, that she might even tell your mom that every Mother's Day gift that you've been revered for is from the exact same place — the Paper Store. You'll be exposed for the romantic gift-giving fraud you really are.

    Google