Why Did Santa Even Hire Comet? I’m Sick & Tired of These Reindeer Games

I have always wondered how Comet got to be one of the top reindeer.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, Comet is that muscle-head that we all went to high school with. The guy who would brag about his weekend conquests that most likely never happened, and grew up to be a self-centered jerk. So how the heck did he land such an important job?

Well, my friends, it's pretty easy to figure out. That old saying, "it comes from the top" and "consider the source" totally ring true here. All through the movie, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Santa is depicted as a crabby, self-centered bully. He's pretty mean to everyone from Mrs. Claus to Rudolph! I understand that he has a lot on his plate, but wow, don't we all? Put on your big boy red pants, Santa, and check your ego at the door. Ain't nobody got time for dat!

So, here's Santa -- aka Mr. Crabby Pants -- looking for a reindeer for his team. Let's take a look at who is on his team at this point:

• Dasher - can't sit still for very long, not great when you're stuck in the chimney
• Dancer - tends to waltz when he should be hustling
• Prancer - thinks he's a showhorse
• Cupid - has to be in the front because of the arrows he carries with him
• Vixen - has a problem if Christmas Eve is on a weekend
• Blitzen - would rather be out throwing them back with the boys at a bar
• Donner, Rudolph's dad - always getting a text or phone call from Mrs. Donner asking him to pick up groceries somewhere in the world

Enter Comet. He's a muscle head, doesn't do much all day except work out, he has a whistle, and likes to be in charge. Santa is done with the day-to-day reindeer stuff. He just wants to hang out in the Caribbean.

Moral of the story: Never hire someone when you're tired and sick of reindeer games.