My 10 Reasons Why 4th of July Is the Absolute Best Holiday We Have
Murica! It's here, baby. The best holiday that we observe in this great country is the 4th of July.
Americans can say what they want, do what they want, and live whatever lifestyle they choose to live. We are all free to do these things because a really smart, tough group of rebels insisted on it 241 years ago. If that's not worthy of celebration, nothing is. This is the best holiday we have, and here is why:
10 - All Your Senses Will Be Stimulated - There is not one other holiday that can claim to stimulate all your senses the way the 4th of July does. You will see colors this weekend that you won't see all year long. You will smell barbecues and fresh cut grass. You will hear laughter and explosions. You will taste amazing macaroni salad and sweet, sweet booze. You will hopefully touch whatever it is you want to touch, and I think you know what I am talking about.
9 - No Gifts - The 4th of July is not the only holiday where we don't exchange gifts, but it is one of few. Most of the major holidays, and their meaning, get lost in spending money and exchanging material items.
8 - Vacation Season - For many of us, this will be the only real vacation we take this year.
7 - Party Time - Whether you get real weird like I do, or you just have a glass of wine and a good meal, we will celebrate.
6 - Nostalgia - There is not one of us that does not have a vivid memory attached to this holiday. The sights and sounds this weekend will inevitably spark a memory you've had with you for many years.
5 - Suns Out, Buns Out - This is the day ladies officially come out of hibernation. You will see ladies in swimwear. Swimwear is the same as underwear these days, and that's pretty awesome. This is baby-making season. You got ladies and dudes lubed up in sun tan lotion with pool water beading on our bodies. Mix in a little alcohol, and it's time to do the wiggle.
4 - The Weather - Some years are better than others with the weather, but I can tell you this much -- you are not wearing shorts and a t-shirt on Christmas.
3 - Hot Dogs/Hamburgers - The perfect menu for any occasion, but required on the fourth.
2 - Freedom Is What Defines Us - The rest of the world can claim to hate us because they don't like our leaders, or we are loud, brash, and cocky, but they envy our freedom. They hate us 'cause they ain't us.
1 - Fire literally rains from the sky - Need I say more?
Have a happy and safe 4th of July weekend. Now get out there and get weird, you wacky bastards (I'm free to say that).
“The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records. They are written, as with a sunbeam, in the whole volume of human nature, by the Hand of Divinity itself, and can never be erased or obscured by mortal power.” - Alexander Hamilton
“If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” - George Washington
"I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal." - Abraham Lincoln