5 Best Places to Hide in Connecticut in the Event of a Zombie Apocalypse
Ask any Haitian, and they'll be the first to tell you that you just never know when a zombie apocalypse could take place!
Everyone knows that the only thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is to run like a son-of-a-bitch! But where are you going to run? To be fully prepared, you must formulate a zombie proof plan by locating some hiding places so the zombies can't tear you to shreds. Here are some of the best hiding places in Connecticut in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
Tory's Cave is the only natural limestone cave opened to the public in Connecticut. Legend has it that zombies hate this cave because of its small size, which is not conducive to a group of zombies all rushing in at once. The cave is shaped as a tube, which is about 50 feet long, and then opens up into a larger room which is the size of a dump truck. Berkshirehiking.com recommends never enter the cave alone and be careful of the bats.
Everyone knows that zombies can't swim, so being on or close to the water is a no-brainer. Plus, you've got trained anti-zombie submarine guys with food and water.
Everyone knows that zombies hate running for long periods of time up a steady incline, which is why the summit at Mt. Tom State Park in Litchfield is the perfect hiding place. It's 1,325 feet above sea level, and once you reach the stone tower at the top, keep running right up the steps, one at a time please. Just pray you haven't run into some zombies who've been working out. It would be a shame if you don't live to see the beautiful view.
Not to be redundant, but we've already established that zombies really don't like the water. The water makes all of their gashes sting like crazy. This means, if you have a pontoon boat, you will have to move your family and live on the boat temporarily. There won't be any time to grab any food from the house or grocery store so you'll have to pull up on one of the islands and learn to live off the land. Fish, squirrels, chipmunks, and tree bark will keep you alive until the zombie apocalypse can be contained, if it can be contained.
The East Haddam Swing Bridge is perfect for shutting yourself off from attacking zombies. The problem is going to be walking into town for supplies so you don't starve. The zombies will be eagerly waiting for you, especially if they haven't tasted any flesh for days. Does anyone have some A1 Sauce?