Hoax About a Crocodile Rampage in Connecticut Terrifies Residents

We've officially entered the era of "Fake News", and Connecticut residents are falling for it hard.

First, Justin Timberlake was moving to Norwalk. Then, White Castle was opening up shop in Danbury. Now, in the most asinine story I may have ever heard, Connecticut residents are absolutely freaking out about an article that made its rounds on social media yesterday, claiming that a 21-foot-long, 2,369 lb. (that's 1,075 kilograms for our metric peeps) Crocodile was captured alive after killing two people and attacking several others. C'mon, man.

First of all, the article was featured on a website called channel23news.com, which is well-known to be nothing more than a site that allows you to write up stories to prank your friends. In fact, at the very top of the page on every "article", right there in big bold lettering, are the words, "You've Been Pranked!", and "You Got Owned!".

Not only that, but there are those little "laughing-so-hard-I'm-crying" emojis. EMOJIS! How can we, as a society, ever mistake a website displaying three laughing smiley faces with tears flowing as a legitimate news site?

Finally, the nail in the proverbial coffin of Connecticut viral hoaxes came by way of the final sentence in the channel23news.com prank, which stated:

Game wardens believe more crocodiles could be in the waters off of Seaside Park due to them being neo-funk groupies wanting to crash the Vibes.

That's where I have to draw the line. Even if 21-foot, two-ton prehistoric predators were taking out beach-goers on the sound, they can't "crash" the Gathering of the Vibes festival that doesn't even exist anymore. It's been years. Furthermore, there's no way crocodiles are into Neo-Funk. Judging by the way they thrash around with their pray, I have to believe they prefer the musical stylings of an Anthrax or a Slayer. I mean, come on, Nutmeggers, have some self-respect. The fundamental orders of the Constitution were written here, for Pete's sake. We're better than this.

The moral of the story is that we, as the fine state that invented the hamburger, really need to make sure the article is legit before "jumping the shark" on Connecticut crocodiles.

Read More Crazy Connecticut Stories: 

• Connecticut Is Creepy -- Here a 15 Weird and Haunted Local Legends
• 18 Things That Were Invented in Connecticut
• The Sketchy Mystery of Dudleytown Has Baffled Connecticut for Ages

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