An Open Letter in Hopes of Bringing White Castle to Danbury
That excitement quickly turned to sadness when this announcement reminded me that we do not have a local White Castle. I've been petitioning for this for years. In fact, some years back I wrote a letter to White Castle, pleading with them to put one right here in the Greater Danbury area. My letter went unanswered. It's time again to make my case.
This is my open letter to the powers that oversee the greatest kingdom in all the of the land -- White Castle:
Many believe that a hearty meal can be more than just putting food in your stomach to thwart hunger, I am one of those people. A delicious meal can enrich the soul and replenish the spirit. Every White Castle meal I've ever had does exactly that -- it brings me joy and has my pleasure bucket overflowing with happy juices.
I am a pragmatist, and smarter than I look, so I know that my love of the White Castle's menu isn't enough to seal this deal. So let's talk turkey, White Castle. You want to make money, right? I believe you will not only be profitable in the Danbury market, but you will thrive and be prosperous.
You may not know that Danbury, CT has experienced unprecedented growth over the past few years. You may not know that when our local area got a Chick-Fil-A that people waited in hours-long lines to get a chicken sandwich, and people were damn near crashing into one another to get in line. You may not know that not only do I write amazing articles like this one, but I co-host a radio show, the Ethan & Lou Show, and can easily get the word out for you.
I can't drive to Westchester or to the city anymore to get a bag of sliders. I can, and do, buy the burgers in the frozen section at my local "mart," but it's not the same -- plus, my kids eat them all when I'm not home. True story: Yesterday ( February 18, 2020) I had 8 frozen White Castle sliders left, I put 6 in my lunch bag and ate them at work.
When I got home, we ordered pizza, and I barely ate any because I knew there were two sliders left in the freezer, and I wanted to save some room. After all the children had gone to bed and my wife was watching TV, I crept into the kitchen and looked in the freezer for my last two sliders. I was so pumped up for the tasty delicious flavors I was about to enjoy.
Mouth watering, I opened the freezer and was shocked to learn they had disappeared. I cried out, "HELP!"
My wife came running and said, "what's wrong, are you OK?" I told her the sliders were gone, she informed me the boys had eaten them when they got home from school. It was at this point that I collapsed to the floor, curling up in the fetal position, where I wept openly for hours.
All of this could have been avoided if there was a White Castle in Danbury. I would not have crumbled into a ball of never-ending emotion. I would have composed myself, climbed behind the wheel of my car and drove to White Castle to purchase more. We've danced long enough, White Castle, it's time close this deal. Time to end our local suffering, time to boost the economy and it's time to create jobs.
Bring a White Castle to Danbury, bring us the joy "we crave." Do it in the name of profit, do it for Danbury and most of all, do it for America.