Monday, we talked about an article that appeared on CT Post about Bethel. The story was about how a growing number of Bethel residents are interested in raising their own poultry and growing food in their own gardens.

The current Bethel regulations allow residents to have chickens or similar poultry on their property if they have a minimum of one acre of land. An ordinance that is being  proposed, however, would allow residents with parcels as small as 10,000 square feet to get into the yard bird game. Here are some of the highlights of said ordinance:

Lou's phone

We asked our KICKS 105.5 Instagram Followers if they were for or against the ordinance:

Lou's phone

It was an overwhelming "YES" to chicken fest 2019. Almost everyone is down to clown with chickens all over town. I don't have a dog in this fight, or a bird, for that matter. I can go either way so let's PRO/CON this bitch:

Pros:

  • Eating healthier.
  • Spending more time outside.
  • Connecting with nature.
  • Saving Money.

Cons:

  • 10,000 square feet = 0.2295684 acres. That's a small parcel and birds are known to be wanderers. The amendment to the zoning regulation is asking for a parcel of that particular size to be allowed to have "no more than 6." When you tell people no more than six, they get six. You have 0.22 acres of property with six chickens on it? Cool story. I see no problems here. I'm sure your neighbors will dig it. They are like-minded individuals. Are they? Do you know?
  • 30,000 square feet = 0.68870523 acres. Just over half an acre, and you can have a max of 12 birds. That's one dozen birds. I have just over half an acre and four kids. When they are all outside, wandering in awkward, zombie-like patterns (like birds do) it's a little weird and crowded. Yep, they (my kids) make their way onto the neighbor's yard. Not sometimes either -- 100% of the time. Sorry Bill, Sorry Ricky.
  • If everyone in Bethel decides, "Yes, I will be a friggin' bird farmer," no one will ever be able to go to Bethel again. There won't be any room -- there'll just be birds everywhere.
  • Finally, whenever amendments for laws or regulations are proposed, you need to remember you are not considering just that change. What local decision makers are actually weighing is how someone will use the amendment to ask, "Why not me?"
    • You have to anticipate how this allowance will prompt the craziest person in town to propose their own semi-related zoning amendment. You approve the changes, everyone gets their birds and next week, you have a resident requesting permission to open a chimpanzee petting zoo. "HEY! Everyone else got chickens, why can't I have my monkeys?" That's what they will say.
    • Maybe the amendment gets drafted with some holes in it and you have to give crazy monkey man his chimp petting zoo. He will call it Uncle Charlie's Chimp Palace. Here you are, Bethel. You now have yourself a two-way petting zoo on Greenwood Avenue -- people petting chimps, chimps petting back.
    • Now that you have allowed this monkey business to go on, crazy ass resident #2 comes along and says if they can have the two-way petting zoo, I should be able to hold animal auctions on my front yard. All the sudden, you have lifelong Bethel resident, Eugene "Mean Gene", selling off squab, emu, rhinos and mini horses from his front porch.

It's possible I've gone too deep on this one. Or not?