According to a press release from the Danbury Police Department, four senior citizens were arrested for allegedly engaging in sexual activity in a public place.

77-year-old Patsy Barbato of Somers, NY, 85-year-old Michael Melnick of Brewster, NY, 67-year-old Jay Doyle of New Milford, CT and 72-year-old Stuart Sherr of Ossining were all taken into custody with Barbato and Melnick held on $500 bonds. Both Doyle and Sherr were released on a promise to appear in court.

The official charge, according to the report, was public indecency, and engaging in sexual activity in a public place. Multiple complaints had been called into the Danbury Police Department about the area around the Mill Plain commuter lot and the Farrington Woods Recreational Park. An investigation was launched over the course of a few days, and police apprehended their suspects.

OK, how do I organize my thoughts here? A list usually works.

1 - They are up there in age - Sure, they are, but everyone has their needs.

2 - Four Old Dudes - They should've just gone golfing.

3 - A parking lot - Can't get mad at that. I have been there.

4 - None of them actually live close to one another - Sure Somers and Brewster are a little close, but then you have New Milford and Ossining? These are like four separate corners of two different states. So, Danbury was the middle for them. How would they meet? This has to be an online, senior citizen fetish club for foursomes that hook up in parking lots, right? I'm sure there is a website for that. Wild times in Danbury, man.

OK, Now I am going to induce vomiting, then run home and burn my DVD copies of Golden Girls and Cocoon.